Get Premium Access
Info

Recovered Podcast - The Unofficial Alcoholics Anonymous AA Recovery Podcast for The Alcoholic Addict and Al-Anon

This is the podcast where life is seen through a 12 step recovery lens. This is a podcast about men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. We have discovered a solution, we have a way out. We have leaned how to live sober and happy. Join us on this journey called life. Email - feedback@recoveredcast.com
RSS Feed Subscribe in Apple Podcasts Premium Podcasts
2017
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2016
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2015
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2014
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2013
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2012
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2011
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2010
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2009
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2008
December
November
October
September
August


Categories

All Episodes
Archives
Categories
Premium Episodes
Now displaying: Category: general
Nov 5, 2017

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

  1. Episode Sponsorship  We will recognize you by first name only at the top, mid, and end of the episode.  Any amount will qualify.
  2. Premium Membership  This is the single most effective way to support the show.  Watch the video in its entirety and learn how to become Premium

Call and leave a message and become part of the show

http://recoveredcast.com/speakpipe

Sep 4, 2017

Our generous Recovered Podcast Community allows us to be self supporting and not rely on outside contributions.  If you would like to join us, there are two ways.

  1. Episode Sponsorship  We will recognize you by first name only at the top, mid, and end of the episode.  Any amount will qualify.
  2. Premium Membership  This is the single most effective way to support the show.  Watch the video in its entirety and learn how to become Premium

The Recovered Podcast Community is not a glum lot.  They contribute to the show and what they share is exactly what someone else needs to hear.  The new guy needs to hear your story.  So honor your 12th step obligation by calling in and help the guy who has not yet gone to his first meeting, you may make the difference in his life.  There are two ways to add to the show:

  1. Speakpipe Use your mobile or computer and leave a message.  This is the preferred method because the sound quality is excellent.
  2. 1-734-288-7510 is our voice message line.
Jun 4, 2017

Looking Back and Moving On

On a recent visit home after quite some time apart, my son “Elliot” and I did a dual interview to discuss our experience roughly five years ago with Substance Use Disorder (referred to as SUD, most of which is detailed in my book Unhooked).

With a list of questions from various parents and family members who have been affected by the opiate epidemic surging through homes across the nation, we sat down for a very real, open conversation.

In our interview conversation, Elliot gave his perspective as one who has been to the depths of darkness with this disease and I gave mine as a Mother who was deeply affected.  We touched some on our background and story and then went right into the most intense dynamics we faced as a family.

 

Relapse occurs mentally long before it occurs physically.

When asked if he ever “hit bottom,” Elliot’s response was “Yes, several times and each time was worse than before. But life would then eventually come together again,” he explained, “things would level out and almost as if forgetting, I would drift back to that mindset again and find myself on track to another bottom.”  Elliot explained that it wasn’t until he decided to live a life with different goals and began refocusing his thoughts toward staying on track that he began taking preventative steps to avoid circling back through and repeating dangerous cycles.

 

 

Family relationships will recover if you allow for time and forgiveness.

As is common when substance abuse has raged through a family, our family dynamics were a disaster for a while. Crisis tends to bring out whatever pathological “trash” (meaning; it causes everyone’s dysfunction to rise to the surface) lies dormant.  There were hard feelings, bad blood and fractured communication on all sides.

Where we are today is a far cry from where we were then.  Recovery is possible and I believe, it works best when everyone does individual work on themselves (therapy, relevant books, support groups etc).  With time and compassion, we both began to realize that in the midst of some terrible circumstances, everyone was doing the best they thought they could do.

 

 

It’s not personal

Regarding stressful conflict, texts that get hateful, conversations that turn toxic and behaviors that involve betrayal, lying stealing etc. Elliot’s explanation related to a speaker he heard teaching from the book Choice Theory, written by William Glasser. The idea is that there are times we internally commit to choices.  Sometimes we will commit to a choice even if it’s wrong, and drive it all the way home, believing it is the best choice, the only choice, in that moment.

When it comes to a Loved One committing to a wrong choice that is having terrible effects on others, Elliot’s suggestion was to not engage it, protect yourself, and back away.

When someone is deep in struggle with a dependency upon a substance, their thoughts are only on what they need to do to meet that need. Anyone they affect or argue with is either a steppingstone, a source, or in the way.

And that is exactly what the disease of addiction does. The mentality of your Loved One is not only unlike the person you know and love, it’s not intentional, but it is adversarial.  SUD takes over the mind and will of the person struggling.

I had to realize, the less I make everything in life about me, the easier it is to logically deal with things.

 

 

Silence is excruciating

Some of our conversation covered when communication is cut off between the one struggling and the family at home.  Those can be extremely frightening, painful times for a parent.

I asked my son to think of what he feels if his dog is out of sight, even for a few minutes and doesn’t respond when he calls for him.

Or…what happens when he can’t find his cell phone.

Those situations prompt frantic moments of panic and relentless searching. Now, multiply those feelings by a million to understand what a parent goes through when their child is lost, off in active addiction or perhaps has gone silent for days on end.

It is those emotions that drive our decisions to investigate, search you out, walk the floors, and “lose it” emotionally.  These were the times that I had to absolutely prop myself up on my faith.

SUD is a crisis no family should have to become great at handling.

There are ways to go about it with sound, healthy judgment. But there is no way to become perfect at handling the crisis of addiction.  The reality is, it’s a terrible disease that creates terrible circumstances, conflicts and emotion for anyone touched by it.

 

 

Don’t go crazy in the madness of it!  That will solve nothing.

During the worst of times I literally became a detective, researching, spying, tracking people and chasing away anyone he was involved with.  I even kept binoculars in my car!

Elliot made it clear this resulted in a huge breakdown in communication, furthering the breach of trust between us.  It also caused him to go to greater lengths to find sources, involving much more risk and danger than usual.

Chasing him down, doing the crazy things, going mad in the midst of it – helped no one, solved nothing and didn’t cause anyone or anything to get better.

Had I put up healthy boundaries, enforced consequences, while maintaining a kinder, more logical position and then taken my hands off, we may have been better able to discuss solutions sooner than we did.  Looking back, I did the best I could with the tools I had, we all did.  If I had it to do again, I would have taken a softer (yet firm in healthy ways) approach and been fully equipped with the CRAFT method in place.

It took time for us both to heal from those days.

 

 

There’s hope

Elliot’s advice to those who are in their teens, 20s and 30s who may wrestle with SUD, regardless of how it began is that it life doesn’t have to be about leaning on a substance or who can party the hardest. “At the end of the day you end up sloppy and might be living down current choices for decades to come.”

Elliot’s words for anyone caught in the trap of active use who feels lost, alone, hopeless and like there is no way get out, “Please know there are thousands of hands out there ready to help you.  You can find a meeting (NA, AA etc) taking place every day in your city.  All you have to do is call, show up, reach out.”

His hope for families was to let them know, when he came to the end of every resource and had to become his own resource (meaning, lovingly cut off from all supply of money and housing), he had to find his own way.  That is what drove him to the desire for sobriety, recovery and a healthy productive life.

We are all relieved with how far he’s come (and how far we’ve come as a family) these last four years.

 

 

Recovery works.

I asked my son the other day when he was home, if it bothered him to go into old, familiar places or potentially cross paths with upsetting people there may have been previous conflict with.  I wondered because those things tend to bother me. His response was “Not at all.  Places don’t affect me anymore like they used to.  As for people, I’m aware of energy and vibes, if they’re negative and rude, all it tells me is that the person hasn’t dealt with their issues. I’ve moved on.”

Once you heal and move forward, you really can be done with the residual effects.

We are aware of the work of recovery and its power in our lives in how completely our relationship has healed.  A wonderful aspect of having gone through it is that due to the level crisis we reached, we dealt with our issues and then we put them behind us. There’s no elephant in the room today, or junk swept under the rug that we have to ignore when we sit down to dinner or have a visit. We live in the wholeness of the moment and celebrate life as it is now. Looking back only to learn and reminisce, but focusing forward on where we are now and what lies ahead.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Never give up,

Annie

May 15, 2017

We have exciting news.  

Annie Highwater's writings will appear regularly here on the Recovered Podcast website.   Annie is Author of a memoir “Unhooked”.  A mother’s story of Unhitching from the roller coaster of her son’s addiction. Annie shares how those experiences both helped and hindered what would be the hardest, most heartbreaking, challenge of her life-- her son’s addiction to opiates. - Mark

Unhooked book link:

https://www.amazon.com/Unhooked-Mothers-Unhitching-Coaster-Addiction/dp/1942497210/ref=zg_bsnr_7916444011_2

her email - annieunhooked@gmail.com

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/AnnieUnhooked/

Here is Annie's latest article:


How important is support? I believe nature reveals to us that we are meant to support one another along the journey of life. Dolphins for instance are known to work together to catch fish, save sick friends and play. Recently researchers have recorded the clever cetaceans 'talking' to each other in order to solve a complex puzzle. The discovery suggests dolphins use a language dedicated to problem solving. I read an observation report about one dolphin becoming paralyzed, when others saw that it was unable to swim, they gathered to form a bridge of support under it, carefully raising their injured friend to the surface for air.

Joshua Plotnik, a behavioral ecologist at Mahidol University in Thailand, and primatologist Frans de Waal, director of Emory University's Living Links Center, have shown through a controlled study what those who work with elephants have always believed: The animals offer something akin to human sympathetic concern when observing distress in another, including their relatives and friends. Elephants in another herd were once found solemnly gathered in a circle, weeping together over the body of a one of their herd who had died.

Along with dolphins and elephants; gorillas, dogs, cats, certain corvids (the bird group that includes ravens) and squirrels among others in nature, have been shown to recognize when a herd mate is upset, weakened or injured and to offer gentle caresses and chirps of sympathy, according to a study (published February 18 in the online journal PeerJ) .

In nature, lending comfort and support seems to come, well…natural.

Some years back I personally observed comfort and support from nonhumans when my beloved Cairn Terrier injured her spine, became paralyzed and went through major corrective surgery. She recovered, yet never regained full strength. For the next 4 years of her life I tended to her every need as my other dog and our cat watched over her closely. They stuck by her, ever present at her side, especially when she grew weaker or sick. I often found them sleeping one on each side of her, laying close against her.

When she later died, for months the two of them would sit with me in every room I was in, something they hadn’t done together before. Everyday they would lay at my feet, one on either side as I worked my way through the sadness and misery of losing my closest companion. That little dog had been like a baby to me, because of her many health issues I took care of her like a child. In some ways, caring for her had even become a distracting comfort when my son moved across the country, losing her was a traumatic shock. I was touched by how aware of my grief my remaining two seemed to be. Their loyal presence helped me get through that difficult time. Animals somehow sense when we are in need of extra comfort.

Not long ago I read that Redwood trees have surprisingly shallow roots compared to other trees. Redwood trees are some of the tallest, strongest trees, yet they have short roots that grow more wide than deep. However, these roots have an amazing ability to latch onto one another, growing tightly together as a strong force underground. The linking of roots allows for added strength, causing several trees to unite as a whole, standing together as one when storms come.

I. Love. That.

Nature gets it. So if support and comfort is vital in nature; what message does that send to us?

What a beautiful thing if that kind of support came naturally in every family and group setting. How much different would our lives be if we instinctively came together to raise each other up, without considering fault, blame or shame, without thinking of our personal issues or awkward feelings. How wonderful would it be if we didn’t hold back, but instead showed up, with opinions and differences aside and offered comfort and encouragement, rallying around someone in need. How much stronger would we be when the storms come.

I’ve most often found unconditional support in rooms of recovery. Managing the adversities of life can feel crushing, especially when you feel like you have to do it by yourself. Having reliable group support can provide great comfort alongside challenging times.

For most of my life I’d taught myself to have a stiff upper lip and push through trials. Therefore, support was most often reserved for a small handful of friends, Google or the self-help section of the Library. It was by chance I started attending family recovery meetings. We had already come through so much of the storm by the time I started going. But once I went, I never left. Supportive meetings were the final puzzle piece in my walk forward, a perfect fit.

After experiencing the profoundly healing effects of attending a good, solid support group, I now admit I regret the nights I walked the floors alone, agonizing about our circumstances (as detailed in my book “Unhooked”). I regret not having a safe place to vent my frustration or hear how others coped when dealing with their own. How I wish I would have had a room to go to from the beginning of the journey, to gather with people going through what I was going through. I would have found safety in those numbers and strength from others who could say “Yep, I’ve been there. That happened to me too. You’re not the only one. I get it.”

I did have very good friends to call and I was lucky enough to personally know a few professionals who I could contact in a pinch. Yet had I also been rooted around those going through the same dark waters I was drowning in, I believe it would have made navigating my way through them a lot easier. There's just something about someone who has walked the same road telling you "It will be okay" that is truly worth its weight in gold.

We are some years past the havoc of addiction first raging through our home. But I still regularly meet with a group of support. Now that life is more calm and stable, I believe listening as well as giving comfort, encouragement and hope back is a great way to keep a stream of kindness flowing. No one should have to go through the harsh times of life alone. That's when we need others to build a bridge under us and raise us up, especially when we’re feeling paralyzed. There are also times we’re called to be part of that bridge and help lift someone else up. Support is give and take. We all need it, we all need to offer it.

It's not weak to admit you need some support, actually it's strong. It's real. And that's not always easy, it takes courage. Being real is not for the phony or faint of heart.

The epidemic of addiction that our nation is experiencing is not stopping, or even slowing down. I believe it's awakening us to our need to be open, honest and to compassionately support one another. Thankfully support groups are becoming more available. I strongly encourage everyone to research and find one that is a fit for you. Online or in person. We need all of it! Life can be brutal, it helps when you’re not alone. Support can make all the difference.

We need people to understand and care. That is where healing happens and strength develops. It's as simple as that.

“Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’” ~ C.S. Lewis

Rooting for you,

Annie

For online support:

http://www.tapunited.org/

http://alliesinrecovery.net/

Unhooked:

https://www.amazon.com/Unhooked-Mothers-Unhitching-Coaster-Addiction/dp/1942497210/ref=zg_bsnr_7916444011_2

Apr 16, 2017
I’m doing another podcast because I was asked an interesting question the other day and it’s a question that I have been asked a bunch of times.  So the question that was asked for me is, what do you do if someone asks why you don’t drink?
 
Let's talk about this solution.  Tap Speakpipe (especially if you are outside the Unites States) or call 1-734-288-7510 and answer the following question(s):
 
How did you used to respond when you were new?
How do you respond now?
What suggestions would you give to the new guy?
 
Recovered Podcast is live online every Tuesday at 6:30 pm EST as we record the show.  Join the fun and be part of the show. 
If you would like to listen to the live stream of the show, just tap Recovered Chat and Live Stream.  We give away an Amazon gift card each week, you could win if you join us on Tuesdays.  
 
Click on our Show Notes we will use Tuesday night.
Mar 5, 2017

 

These specialty cookies and Tee Shirts will be making an appearance at the Recovered Podcast Reception and Live Show at the 2017 March Roundup. We will be on the second floor in the Rolls Royce Suite between 2:00 pm and 6:00 pm. Get there early if you want either. http://recoveredcast.com/flyer

 

 

Jan 13, 2017

Tuesday night, I will be podcasting from my hotel room at Soaring Eagle Resort and Casino. I will be at a Winter conference for a business association.
Join me and keep me company as I try to carry a message of hope and recovery in the midst of free alcohol and gambling!
Let's talk about this solution.

Call me and help me stay sober while I am on this business trip! Really, I need you to call me.
Tap http://recoveredcast.com/speakpipe (especially if you are outside the Unites States) . I won't be able to retrieve phone calls and play them from the hotel room, but I can play the speakpipe messages. Use speakpipe, the sound quality is excellent!

Keep me company and answer the following question(s):

How do you stay sober on the road?
Do you go to meetings?
Do you take recovery reading material?
Do you listen to podcasts?
Do you make phone calls?

Recovered Podcast is live online every Tuesday at 6:30 pm EST as we record the show. Join the fun and be part of the show.
If you would like to listen to the live stream of the show, just tap http://recoveredcast.com/live. We give away an Amazon gift card each week, you could win if you join us on Tuesdays.

We are now experimenting with a live video stream and you can tune in a hear AND see us record the show. On Tuesdays at 6:30 pm EST just click http://facebook.com/recoveredcast and join the sights and sounds of the Recovered Podcast studio.

Dec 5, 2016
On Tuesday, December 6,  2016, The Recovery Topic is "Recovery and Therapy."
 
Many of us in recovery have found it helpful to receive mental health treatments such as talk therapy in addition to participation in a 12-step recovery program.
 
Let's talk about this solution.  Tap Speakpipe or Wavve (especially if you are outside the Unites States) or call 1-734-288-7510 and answer the following question(s):
 
Have you ever seen a therapist in addition to a 12-step program?
Was it helpful?
What was your experience?
How did you select a therapist?
 
Recovered Podcast is live online every Tuesday at 6:30 pm EDT as we record the show.  Join the fun and be part of the show. 
If you would like to listen to the live stream of the show, just tap Recovered Chat and Live Stream.  We give away an Amazon gift card each week, you could win if you join us on Tuesdays.  
 
Click on Show Notes
Nov 27, 2016
On Tuesday, November 29,  2016, The Recovery Topic is "Medicines and Recovery."
 
Misuse of prescription medication and other drugs can threaten the achievement and maintenance of sobriety.
 
Let's talk about this solution.  Tap Speakpipe or Wavve (especially if you are outside the Unites States) or call 1-734-288-7510 and answer the following question(s):
 
Have you taken medicine since you have been in recovery?
How did you manage, was it a threat to your sobriety?
 
Recovered Podcast is live online every Tuesday at 6:30 pm EDT as we record the show.  Join the fun and be part of the show. 
If you would like to listen to the live stream of the show, just tap Recovered Chat and Live Stream.  We give away an Amazon gift card each week, you could win if you join us on Tuesdays.  
Nov 15, 2016
We have been contacted regarding sponsorship to help with podcasting costs.  The right sponsor could help underwrite our efforts to carry this message of hope to a ever more audience, but we need your help.  To help find the right fit, we need to conduct a demographic survey to better understand who is listening to the show.
 
Your participation in this demographic survey will help us find the right sponsor.  Your email address will not be sold and I will not spam you.  However, I may contact you from time to time.  After a few weeks, we will randomly select one name from the list of people who participated in the survey
 
This winner will receive:
1.  The Novel "Detroit Muscle" by Jeff Vande Zande
2.  The Graphic Novel "3AZ" by Matt O.
3.  A signed Big Book from your truly.
4.  $100 Amazpon Gift card.
 
We need 250 responses in 2 weeks to be considered. 
 
If you would like to help and take the 7 question survey, just tap http://recoveredcast.com/take-our-survey/
 
Thank you for your support.
 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next » 11