Let’s begin by talking about fear in general, and let’s check what our listeners had to say
Question posed on our website at recoveredcast.com
When You Were New, What Did You Fear?
Your thoughts on the results
OK Guest 1, what about fear and the spiritual life, it there a connection? (p 52 of BB)
Let's read from the big book, page 52 for those keeping score at home
We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people - was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than whether we should see newsreels of lunar flight? Of course it was.
When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did.
OK, Guest 2, let's talk about the relationship between fear and self-centeredness? (p. 62 of BB)
Let's read from page 62 of the big book of alcoholics anonymous.
Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so
Guest 3, What about fear and the steps, any thoughts? (p. 67 BB) and solution (p. 68, 75, 84,145)
Ok, now let's talk specifically about the Fear of Change
We asked our listeners to help us prepare for this show, so we asked them about their fears. This is what they told us
Ok Guest 1, what changes were you most fearful of when you first came in?
What do you think is the root cause of your fears early on?
Did it change? How? In what way?
What is it like now?
How is it different today?
Regarding fear, what steps, tools, slogans are most helpful for you early on and now?
Fear of Unknown
Fear of Failure
Fear of Commitment
Have you ever relapsed?
Were you with using friends?
When you first came in, what did you think about the current friends you had?
Did you still hang out with them?
What advice were you given on this subject of being in wet places with wet faces?
What did you tell your friends?
Do you think you can ever associate with people that drink?
Can you be in an environment where there is active drinking?
Does it bother you now?
Did it bother you when you were new?
What are some factors is determining if you can be with drinking friends?
Length of sobriety, does it matter? Why?
At peace with recovery, does it matter? Why?
Finished the 12 Steps, does it matter? Why?
Your sponsor’s opinion, does it matter? Why?
What were your first thoughts of making amends?
What did you think was involved?
What was actually involved, what was your experience?
Tell us about an amend gone well
Why did it go well? What are lessons learned?
Tell us about an amend gone badly
Why did it go badly? What are lessons learned?
What are some of your suggestions?
Your thoughts about…
1. Feel the feeling first,
think about what it will be like saying the words of amends and how it will feel
2. Understand what it takes to make an amends
Must be over anger, resentments, jealousy before facing the person
3. Write down reasons why your making amends
4. Prepare what you are going to say
5. Resolve solutions
Prepare how you will propose to make the situation right.
6. Keep it simple
7. Move on regardless